Myth of the Week: Turnips and Honey

A turnip once said, "I taste good with honey."

Honey said, "Don't brag!  I taste good with everything!"

-Russian Anecdote

Myth of the Week: The Apples and the Water, Pt. 2

Prince Ivan, having retrieved the apples and water, worked his way through the castle until he found Sineglazka.  He saw that she was beautiful. He kissed her hand, and left the castle before she could awaken. But when he whipped the horse, the horse turned to him and said, "I cannot jump the wall."

"Why not?" Ivan asked.

"You broke the rules," the horse said.

Prince Ivan whipped the horse again and called it terrible names. But the horse would not jump. Ivan whipped the horse again, and the horse jumped. But he did not jump well enough, and touched the wall instead. An alarm sounded, and the thirty guards looked and saw Prince Ivan leaving the wall.

Sineglazka herself awoke, and knew that the apples and water had been stolen. She saddled her horse, and took off after Prince Ivan, twelve other warrior maidens behind her.

Ivan arrived at the home of the eldest Baba-Yaga, who had a horse ready. He changed horses and set off again. Not even a minute had gone by when Sineglazka burst into the home and asked her aunt, "Did a man come by here?"

"No."

"I must go!"

"Please, Niece, stay and have some milk. It won't take but a moment."

She milked the cow, and took her time as she did so. She brought the warm, frothy milk to her niece, who drank it and set off again. She chased Prince Ivan, and gained on him.

Prince Ivan entered the home of the younger Baba-Yaga, who had a horse ready. He changed horses and was off. A moment later, Sineglazka burst into the home and asked her aunt, "Did a man come by here?"

"No."

"I must go!"

"Please, Niece, stay and have some pancakes. It won't take but a moment."

She fried up the pancakes, and took her time as she did so. She brought the plate of warm, fluffy pancakes to her niece, who ate them and set off again. She chased Prince Ivan, and gained on him.

Ivan arrived at the home of the youngest Baba-Yaga, who had a horse ready. He changed horses and set off again. Not even a minute had gone by when Sineglazca burst into the home and asked her aunt, "Did a man come by here?"

"No."

"I must go!"

"Please, Niece, stay and have a bath. It won't take but a moment."

She drew the bath water and heated up the bath house, and took her time as she did so. Sineglazka took her bath, and set off again. She chased Prince Ivan, and gained on him.

Ivan saw that he could not outrun the maiden, and so slowed his horse. Sineglazka called to him, "Why did you steal from me?"

"Let us meet each other in battle, and see who is the strongest."

Three times did they strike at each other. Once did they break their lances, once did they break their maces, and once did they break their sabres. Neither could throw the other.

Sineglazka said, "Let us try our hands at fighting." So they fought hand-to-hand, and Sineglazka won. She stood over Ivan, prepared to kill him, when he said, "Kiss me."

So she kissed him, and the two of them set up a tent in the forest. After becoming betrothed, they spent three nights together there in the woods. Sineglazka said to him, "I must return to my kingdom, and you must return to yours. Do not stray from your path, but go straight home. I will come to you in three years."

They each rode their horse in opposite directions. Ivan took the road home. Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. He eventually came to a crossroads, where he saw the signpost. He said to himself, "I have achieved my aim, and a wife in the meantime, but my brothers are still lost."

So Ivan did not follow Sineglazka's instructions, but guessed that his brothers had taken the middle road. So he followed it, and soon at a castle, and was greeted by a maiden. She was beautiful and said, "Come, enjoy my hospitality."

So he went inside, and ate and drank, but the food and drink he threw under the table. She led him to bed, but he threw her onto the bed, turned it over and she fell into a deep dungeon. He leaned over the dungeon and said, "Who is there?"

"We are your brothers!"

He pulled them out and washed them with the living water. The three of them headed home, but halfway there, Prince Ivan was tired. So he stopped to rest, and told his brothers to wake him in an hour. As he slept, Prince Fedor said to Prince Vasilii, "We must not return to Father without the apples and water. Let us throw Ivan into a pit and take the apples and water to Father ourselves."

They took the apples and water from Prince Ivan's saddle, and threw Ivan into a deep pit. He fell for many days and many nights. When he landed, it was on a sea shore, and sea birds were crying out to him for help, because the sea spray was making them cold. So Ivan covered them with his cloak and hid nearby, to see what would happen. Nagai came, and she asked her children, "Where did you get this cloak?"

They answered that a man had given it to them. Nagai saw Ivan and asked, "Where did you come from?"

"My brothers threw me here."

"You have saved my children. What can I give you in return?"

"I only wish to return home."

She said, "Fill two barrels with meat."

So he did this, and put one on her left shoulder and one on her right. Then he sat in between them and fed her as she flew.  Perhaps they flew far, perhaps they flew near.  Eventually the barrels ran out of meat, and so when Nagai once more grew hungry, Ivan gave her a piece of meat from his own thigh. 

Perhaps she flew for a short time, perhaps she flew for a long time.  She grew hungry again, and  Ivan gave her a piece of meat from his other thigh.  Perhaps she flew for a short time, perhaps she flew for a long time. She grew hungry again, and Ivan gave her a piece of meat from his chest.


Perhaps she flew for a short time, perhaps she flew for a long time.  Nagai arrived at Ivan's home.  "Thank you for feeding me," she said.  "The last bite you gave me was the best meat I have ever eaten!" 

Ivan showed her the places of the flesh, and she felt sorry.  She regurgitated the pieces, and Ivan put them back into place and was healed.  Ivan thanked her, and she flew away.  He went home, and found that Fedor and Vasilii had given the Tsar the apples and water, and had received much honor when he had been restored to health.  Yet rather than go to the Tsar and explain what happened, Prince Ivan went through town, gathering together all of the drunkards and shiftless vagrants.

In the meantime, Sineglazka gave birth to twin boys who grew - not year by year or day by day - but hour by hour.  They grew and grew, and so it happened that three years went by.  At the end of the three years, Sineglazka gathered her army and set out for the home of her husband.

She came to the Tsar's kingdom and set up her pavilion in the open field in front of the Tsar's castle.  She sent a messenger to the Tsar, and said, "Give me your son, or I will destroy you and your kingdom."

The Tsar was frightened and sent his son, Fedor, out to meet Sineglazka.  Her children saw him coming and asked if he was their father.  She said to them, "That is your uncle.  Treat him as he deserves."

So the two children went out and beat their uncle with sticks until he returned to the castle, bruised and bleeding.

Sineglazka sent another messenger to the Tsar, and said, "Give me your son, or I will destroy you and your kingdom."

The Tsar was frightened and sent his son, Vasilii, out to meet Sineglazka. Her children saw him coming and asked if he was their father. She said to them, "That is your uncle. Treat him as he deserves."

So the two children went out and beat their uncle with sticks until he returned to the castle, bruised and bleeding.

Sineglazka sent another messenger to the Tsar, and said, "Give me your son, or I will destroy you and your kingdom."

The Tsar was frightened because he could not find Prince Ivan.  He sent for Prince Fedor and Prince Vasilii and asked them where Ivan was.  They fell prostrate before him and confessed everything.  The Tsar was outraged as well as frightened now, and did not know what to do.  But it was at this moment that Prince Ivan returned with the drunkards.  They tore up the banners of the pavilion as they walked, and the two children saw Prince Ivan and asked who the drunkard was that was coming to see their mother.

Sineglazka answered, "This is your father.  Take him by the hands and lead him in, for he is tired and has suffered much."

The two boys took their father by the hand and brought him into the tent, where Sineglazka prepared a warm meal, a drink, a bath, and then put him to bed.  She gave each of his companions a drink, and sent them away.  In the morning, the two of them went to the Tsar's castle, where there was a great wedding and a feast.  Ivan and Sineglazka went to Sineglazka's kingdom, where they lived out the rest of their days.

As for Prince Fedor and Prince Vasilii, they achieved no honor in life, but were thrown out of the castle in exile, where they lived here, there, and nowhere.  Everyone else, though, was quite happy in life.

I would know; I was there at the wedding.  I drank beer, and it ran down my mustache but none of it went into my mouth.

-From Russian Folklore
 

Myth of the Week: The Apples and the Water, Pt. 1

Once there was a Tsar who was old, and whose eyesight was failing.  This Tsar also had three sons:  Fedor, Vasilii, and Ivan.  Fedor was the oldest, Vasilii was younger, and Ivan was the youngest.  Now the Tsar heard of a kingdom in which apples grew that would make a man young again.  In this kingdom was also a well where the water would restore sight. 

The Tsar called together his sons and all of the noblemen and asked who would go to this kingdom and bring him an apple and the water.  "I will give this man half of my kingdom," he said.

Now his sons hid, and the noblemen quaked, for the kingdom was far away.  The Tsar waited until Fedor stepped forward and said, "I will go."

So he saddled a horse and took off for the kingdom of the apples and water.  His horse was strong, and his saddle had twelve straps, and no one saw which direction he took.     

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near.  Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low.  From dawn to dusk, the prince road, until he came to a crossroads.  At the crossroads was a signpost, which read, "If you go right, you will live and your horse will die.  If you go left, you will die and your horse will live.  If you go straight, you will find a wife."  Fedor went straight.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low.   He arrived at a castle, and was greeted by a maiden.  She was beauiful and said, "Come, enjoy my hospitality."

So he went inside, and ate and drank.  She led him to bed, but when Fedor had lain himself in it, she turned it over and he fell into a deep dungeon.

Now time passed, and the Tsar called together his sons and all of the noblemen and asked who would go to this kingdom and bring him an apple and the water. "I will give this man half of my kingdom," he said.

Now his sons hid, and the noblemen quaked, for the kingdom was far away. The Tsar waited until Vasilii said, "I will go."

So he saddled a horse and took off for the kingdom of the apples and water. His horse was strong, and his saddle had twelve straps, and no one saw which direction he took.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. From dawn to dusk, the prince road, until he came to a crossroads. At the crossroads was a signpost, which read, "If you go right, you will live and your horse will die. If you go left, you will die and your horse will live. If you go straight, you will find a wife."  Vasilii went straight.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. He arrived at a castle, and was greeted by a maiden. She was beauiful and said, "Come, enjoy my hospitality."

So he went inside, and ate and drank. She led him to bed, but when Vasilii had lain himself in it, she turned it over and he fell into a deep dungeon.

When he had reached the bottom, a voice asked, "Who is there?"

"I am Vasilii.  Who are you?"

"I am Fedor."

"Well, Brother, we are in dire straights!"
    
Now time passed, and the Tsar called together his son and all of the noblemen and asked who would go to this kingdom and bring him an apple and the water. "I will give this man half of my kingdom," he said.

Now his son hid, and the noblemen quaked, for the kingdom was far away. The Tsar waited until Ivan said, "I will go."

So Prince Ivan went to saddle his horse, but his horse quaked and sat down.  No horse would allow Prince Ivan to saddle it, and so he went from the stables, dejected. 

An old woman saw his sadness and said, "Greetings, young Prince!  What has happened?"

Prince Ivan told her that he was unable to complete the task and save his father's health.  "There is no horse in the kingdom that will allow me to ride it!" he finished.

The old woman laughed and said, "Do you not know about the horse in the dungeon?  Why, if you can unchain him, he will be yours!  He will serve you well in this time of need."

So Ivan went to the dungeon, and there saw the horse.  When the horse saw Ivan, it reared up onto its hind legs and placed its front legs on Ivan's shoulders.  Ivan accepted this, and the horse tore off its chains and bolted from the dungeon, Ivan on his back. 

So he saddled a horse and took off for the kingdom of the apples and water. His horse was strong, and his saddle had twelve straps, and no one saw which direction he took.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. From dawn to dusk, the prince road, until he came to a crossroads. At the crossroads was a signpost, which read, "If you go right, you will live and your horse will die. If you go left, you will die and your horse will live. If you go straight, you will find a wife."  Ivan read it carefully.

"I cannot go right," he said, "for I need my horse.  I cannot go straight, for I am not seeking a wife."  He sighed.  "I may have a hope of saving myself if I go left."  So he went left, along the road that would save his horse and yet take his life.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low.  After riding all day and the next, he came to a small hut.  The hut had but a single window, and stood high in the air on a pair of chicken legs.

"Hut!" he called.  "Hut!  Turn your front towards me and your back to the forest!  Just as I enter, so will I leave!"

The hut turned, and Ivan went in.  Inside the hut was Baba-Yaga.  Her nose grew through the roof, and her shoulders filled the hut.     

"Ah-ha!  Ah-ha!"  she said.  "It has been a long time since a Russian has come to visit me!  Tell me, young man, are you searching, or fleeing?"

"Baba-Yaga!  Where are your manners?  Do you greet all visitors with questions, or just me?  Have you no food or drink to offer a weary traveler?"

The old woman clucked at him, and said, "I did forget my manners!  Let me get you something to eat, and then we will talk."  She set about preparing some supper, and when he had eaten, she sat next to him and asked, "Now, where are you off to?"

"I am Prince Ivan, son of the Tsar.  My journey takes me to a far away kingdom.  There, I will fetch the living water and the apples of youth, and bring them to my father, who is ailing."

The old woman said, "Son, you are very brave to attempt such a thing.  The water and apples are guarded by my niece, who is a powerful warrior.  She is called by  the name of Sineglazka.  She dwells in the thirtieth kingdom, and I do not think that you are able to get past her."

"Well then, Grandmother, what advice can you give me?   Perhaps your wisdom will aid my journey."

Baba-Yaga sat back and looked Prince Ivan over.  "You are the only courteous youth I have ever met," she said.  "You may have my horse, who is much faster than yours, and he will take you to my older sister.  She will know what to do.  But for now, you must rest!" 

So Ivan went to the bed that she had prepared for guests, and fell into a deep sleep.  In the morning, Prince Ivan saddled Baba-Yaga's horse and set out for the home of the elder Baba-Yaga.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. After riding all day and the next, he came to a small hut. The hut had but a single window, and stood high in the air on a pair of chicken legs.

"Hut!" he called. "Hut! Turn your front towards me and your back to the forest! Just as I enter, so will I leave!"

The hut turned, and a horse in the yard neighed.  Ivan's horse, the one Baba-Yaga had given him, neighed in return.  The horses stayed together in the yard, and Ivan went into the hut.  Inside, the Baba-Yaga was even older and larger than the first.  She saw Ivan.

"Ah-ha! Ah-ha!" she said. "It has been a long time since a Russian has come to visit me! Tell me, young man, are you searching, or fleeing?"

"Baba-Yaga! Where are your manners? Do you greet all visitors with questions, or just me? Have you no food or drink to offer a weary traveler?"

The old woman clucked at him, and said, "I did forget my manners! Let me get you something to eat, and then we will talk." She set about preparing some supper, and when he had eaten, she sat next to him and asked, "Now, where are you off to?"

"I am Prince Ivan, son of the Tsar. My journey takes me to the thirtieth kingdom. There, I will fetch the living water and the apples of youth from the warrior Sineglazka, and bring them to my father, who is ailing."

"You will not succeed!"  Baba-Yaga exclaimed.  "It is much too difficult, I think."

"Well then, Grandmother, what advice can you give me? Perhaps your wisdom will aid my journey."

Baba-Yaga sat back and looked Prince Ivan over. "You are the only courteous youth I have ever met," she said. "You may have my horse, who is much faster than yours, and he will take you to my older sister. She will know what to do. But for now, you must rest!"

So Ivan went to the bed that she had prepared for guests, and fell into a deep sleep. In the morning, Prince Ivan saddled Baba-Yaga's horse and set out for the home of the elder Baba-Yaga.

Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. After riding all day and the next, he came to a small hut. The hut had but a single window, and stood high in the air on a pair of chicken legs.

"Hut!" he called. "Hut! Turn your front towards me and your back to the forest! Just as I enter, so will I leave!"

Baba-Yaga, this one even older than the other two, came out onto the porch, for she knew her sister's horse.  She did not know the handsome young man riding it, and she asked him, "Tell me, young man, are you searching, or fleeing?"

But she did not wait for an answer, but instead fed and stabled the horse and prepared a supper for Ivan.  Baba-Yaga gave hospitality to all who sought it, whether rich or poor, young or old, whether on horseback or on foot.  When Ivan had finished eating, she said, "Now, what is it you seek?"

"I am Prince Ivan, son of the Tsar. My journey takes me to the thirtieth kingdom.  I first came to your youngest sister's, and she sent me to your younger sister's.  Your younger sister sent me here.  I will, with your guidance, go to the thirtieth kingdom to fetch the living water and the apples of youth from the warrior Sineglazka, and bring them to my father, who is ailing."

"You will not succeed!" Baba-Yaga exclaimed. "It is much too difficult, I think."

"Well then, Grandmother, what advice can you give me? Perhaps your wisdom will aid my journey."

Baba-Yaga sat back and looked Prince Ivan over. "You are the only courteous youth I have ever met," she said.  My niece is Sineglazka, whom you seek.  She is mighty, and full of fury.  Her kingdom is surrounded by a wall that is twenty feet high and ten feet thick, and whose gate is guarded by thirty warriors.  You may have my horse, who can jump much higher than yours.  Go to the gate in the middle of the night, and when you reach the wall, whip the horse with a fresh whip.  He will jump over the wall.  The garden will be in front of you.  Tie the horse to a tree outside of the garden and enter it.  In the middle of the garden is a tree on which grows the apples of youth.  Take three.  Do not take any more, and do not take any less.  Under the tree is a well.  Fill your pitcher with it.  Then, go back to the horse, untie him, and whip him once more.  He will jump over the wall and bring you home.  My niece will be asleep, and will not awaken unless you break these rules, or go into her bedchamber."

Prince Ivan did not sleep, but went straightaway as fast as he could to the thirtieth kingdom.  Perhaps he rode far, perhaps he rode near. Perhaps the road was high, or perhaps the road was low. After riding all day and the next, he arrived at the thirtieth kingdom in the dead of the night.  The gate was guarded by thirty warriors.  Ivan lashed the horse with a fresh whip, and the horse jumped over the wall.  Ivan tied the horse to a tree and entered the garden, where he saw the tree.  It had silver leaves, and the apples that grew on it were golden.  Underneath the tree was a well.  Ivan took three apples and filled his pitcher with water.  But he also had a desire to see the maiden.  So he crept into the silent castle, perhaps to his doom.

-From Russia

Myth of the Week: Indra and Vrtra

I will declare the mighty deeds of Indra, his foremost of accomplishments, he who is the Thunder-wielder.  He slaughtered the dragon, then let loose the waters, carving and cleaving the pathways of the mountain torrents.  The dragon who lay on the mountain - it was he whom Indra killed.  Tvastr fashioned a bolt of thunder for Indra, and Indra did slay the dragon.  As the many cattle low with a deep thunder, so did the waters of the rivers sound as they flowed to the ocean.  With his deadly thunderbolt, Indra slew the mighty dragon Vrtra, and broke him into pieces.  The waters of the torrents flowed over his body, and the pieces of his body tumbled in the rivers.  Vrtra in his greatness did encompass the mountain, holding back the rivers, and these rivers did now flow over the mighty Vrtra.  Tumbling in the rivers did Vrtra's body ever reach the ocean, O Indra who released the Seven Rivers. 

Indra, you slew the great serpent who obstructed the rivers, and with their rushing, the rivers carved passages in the face of the land; the desert lands were flooded, and the mountains settled into their beds as men who settle to their suppers.  Heaven and Earth trembled, all that moved and was immobile trembled, and Ahi - the serpent who was Vrtra - was torn into pieces by your thunderbolt.   You are Indra, the great Dragon Slayer.

-From the Rig Veda